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12 January 2009

I haven't been able to write my diary for 48 hours - I've simply not had time and have been busy working with colleagues to prepare thousands of food parcels for desperate people. We have to finish distributing aid before it gets  dark and make sure that we are back home as there is no electricity and families and loved ones worry if we are out on the streets. The bombardment intensifies at night and so it’s not wise to be out on the streets.
 
The bombs keep falling and people keep dying. There isn’t a single person in Gaza who doesn’t have a personal story to tell, a story about a brother, sister, an uncle, an aunt, grandmother, grandfather or friend who has been killed or knows someone who has lost a person they love. Gaza is a small place, 25 miles long with 1.5 million people crammed in and there is very little open ground.
 
I sometimes wonder if there will be enough space to bury the dead. Yesterday a friend of mine was killed in his home. He was a journalist and worked for a radio station. Since the attacks started on Gaza I have lost good friends - and if you ask me how I feel about it - well I can't really say as I'm trying to block it out so I can focus on my work. I'm one of the lucky ones as I can keep busy with my work and focus my energy on trying to assist people - this is one of the things that is keeping me going.
 
My manager’s home was exposed to heavy gunfire - he lives close to the borders of Gaza City and the bullets hit the room his children sleep in. Since the attacks started 15 days ago children in Gaza no longer sleep in their rooms - they are terrified and cling to their parents and at night they sleep close to them.
 
I decided today to try and speak to people on the streets around the office to find out more about their situation but it’s hard to find people and when you do everyone is in a rush to visit a relative or friend and pay their condolences to families who have lost loved ones. 
 
The shops are closed, the most crowded areas are near hospitals. I met a few people in the streets but many more are in shelters in school buildings which are now housing hundreds of frightened people who have fled their homes hoping they will be safer in these buildings. The 'hidden' homeless are staying with their extended family members. Hundreds of families have moved in with relatives - and for Gaza’s poor - this is adding further pressure. Islamic Relief has received many phone calls from these families asking for blankets and food - they need to keep warm and to feed their families. We are now distributing aid to these families alongside people who are living in shelters.
 
I met Khaled, a father of five from Jabaliya camp when I was distributing food aid. He told me about his experiences of the past 15 days. "We have no electricity and a small amount of food, the food is expensive and I have no money. It’s most frightening at night when the bombardment intensifies. My wife, my mother and the children - we all sleep close together, I say sleep but I don't sleep, I pray all night and listen to my children and my wife crying with fear as the bombs keep falling. I do my best to calm them down but they know I can't do anything to help them."
 
I feel exhausted - as do the people of Gaza - but as an aid worker I have no choice but to keep going.
 
More aid is arriving in Gaza through Israel's borders and my logistics colleagues work out how to get the aid loaded onto trucks and out to the hospitals and shelters. Every minute of the day is precious - we are working around the clock to get food, medicine and blankets to the most vulnerable people. I'm an optimistic person and I always try and look for hope - but hope is in short supply here in Gaza.